First off is my Dad.
We all knew something was up in the fall of 2007. He was weezing a lot and was taking a lot of naps. (He would fall asleep just by sitting down in a chair!) It was not like him.
Then came the fateful news: he had lung cancer. I still can remember that day. It was hard, horrible... I felt like my heart fell down around my ankles. And yet I tried to be strong for my mom and sister, who are like butter when it comes to hard things: they're softies and wear their hearts on their sleeves. We all have different ways of dealing with things. There is nothing wrong with that. I leaned on Jonathan a lot. But he was right there the whole time.
The other way I dealt with all of this was prayer. I am not one to ask for prayer. I just am not. I never have been. But, I started asking anyone who would be willing to pray for my Dad and our family. And I have now turned into a person who believes we should be praying for everything. Nothing should be done without prayer first. (Well, within reason, I suppose!)
As it turns out, my Dad is doing great, which just proves to me that prayer works! That God is in His throne and in control. I cannot have any doubt that God is there, with us, throughout everything. So many times during this whole year it has seemed that He has answered prayer in strange ways - but answers all the same. Need proof? As I write this, my Dad is preparing to go back to work in the morning, something none of us thought he would do. Whether he can handle it or not is not the question. The point is that he is feeling well enough to go back to work and his doctors have given him the 'okay'. That's a miracle.
I am not finished learning my lessons from this past year with my Dad. I continue to grow and learn from all of this. I am sure that I will continue to learn things as the years pass. This part of my journey is not over yet.
Second: Daniel
I am amazed at what I have learned from this Israelite in ancient Babylon. I continue to soak in all of the lessons that I am learning. This study has been life changing. I will walk away from this study with a better knowledge of our culture and the ways in which we are to stand out as Christians. I can't wait to start learning about the end of times in the next half of the study. Stay tuned because I am sure that I will need to share with you.
Third: Where Do I Fit In?
In this huge world, where is my place? Am I okay with that place? Will I accept what God has for me? Or will I run away in the opposite direction? Am I willing to allow God to use my husband and stand by and learn what He wants to teach me by this? Am I willing to allow God to take me in a new direction???? Give me a new identity?
And am I willing to give up teaching to the benefit of my children and father? Am I willing to trust God with my professional life and let go?
These are the questions that I have had to face this past year. I am still facing some of them daily. Sometimes they are answered and then come back to haunt me over and over. I have answered a few of them more than once. I will probably continue to answer them as this next year starts.
This I know: God is in control. He is on the throne. He will be the Judge, the Beginning and the End. He has already won. He wants only what is best for me and best for His Glory. I have to be willing to let go and let Him be in control. He's better at it anyway.
So, I will cling to Him. No matter what, I will cling to Him. He will never let go. No matter what happens.
I leave you with this.
You Never Let Go - David Crowder Band
Lyrics to You Never Let Go :
When clouds veil sun
And disaster comes
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
When waters rise
And hope takes flight
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
Ever faithful
Ever true
You I know
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go (x2)
When clouds brought rain
And disaster came
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
When waters rose
And hope had flown
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
Ever Faithful
Ever True
You I know
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go (x2)
Oh, my soul
Overflows
Oh, what love,
oh, what love
Oh, my soul
Fills with hope
Perfect love
that never lets go
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go (x 3)
Oh, what love,
oh, what love
Oh, what love (x2)
In joy and pain
In sun and rain
You’re the same
Oh, You never let go (x 3)
